Friday, November 4, 2011

Tip #50: Quests!

The concept of quests is naturally steeped within Medieval lore whereas chivalrous knights (according to Wikipedia, the etymology of the word chivalry is: In English, the word is first attested in 1292, as a loan from Old French chevalerie "", an abstract noun formed in the 11th century based on chevalier "knight", ultimately from Medieval Latin caballārius "horseman"; cavalry is from the Italian form of the same word, loaned via Middle French into English around 1540.) would embark on often times perilous adventures to prove their love and devotion to a particular damsel -- a sort of grand romantic gesture by acquiring the impossible as a test of love and romance. Although true, especially due to the iconic (yet fictional) quest of Sir Lancelot's epic quest in search of the holy grail in the effort to win Lady Guinevere's heart away from King Arthur, the notion of the quest dates as far back as the prehistoric era of man, and holds strong today among us romantics!

In so-called caveman days, males had to prove their mettle like any other proving that they were worthy of providing and protecting -- two very important evolutionary factors (sounds a bit misogynistic, huh? It is....but that's human biology for you!). However, throughout all of this, women, being the beautiful, clever, and cunning creatures that they are, have learned to use their desirability and the art of seduction to bend masculinity's will to their every whim...hence quests.

A quest can be very large or very can be ordered or can be necessary or can be a task or a favor...but above all, it is a test of wills!!! Now, to some, the constant requests of "Get me this!" and "I deserve that!" might technically fall under the category of quests...they don't. These are petty needs and capricious yearnings for something materialistic. A true quest is not only about obtaining a hard-to-find or ultra expensive gift to appease your lover's hunger for said item, but rather it is a way to better yourself by way of facing a challenge and accomplishing it by being resourceful, tactful, and knowledgeable; but most importantly, it has to come from the heart! In essence, quests aren't truly about what you achieve, but rather how you achieve it, and especially why you've achieved it.

So...what constitutes a quest by today's standard? could pretty much be anything, really. But foremost it may very well be something that puts the male ego out of its comfort zone. Let me give you the most mundane "manly-man"/"eww" factor scenario: "Honey, can you please run to the store and grab me [insert any feminine hygiene product here]?" For the record, I never understood the male mind's aversion to this simple quest! Is the embarrassment factor that is set so high that one would be paranoid enough to believe that the person at the drug store would think that a man use something like a tampon or a special cleanser on himself?!? Quite the contrary! A man should be proud to procure such items (although, ladies, it does break down the feminine illusion a bit...just sayin') if only to prove he has a loving woman to share his life with! But regardless of the banter or issue in this particular case, it is a quest non-the-less. Can you not overcome and rise above your male ego in order to provide for your love's interest and matter how embarrassing???

Next case in point: The Chores...
Chores can be perceived as one of two things: actual laborious tasks, or mini quests!!! Mow the lawn; do the laundry; clean out the garage; blah, blah, blah...yawn!!! Chores suck, granted...and no one wants to turn into a nagging old housefrau! To get beyond this, treat chores as mini-quests! Not really significant, yet necessary for the health of the relationship!

The important note to add here, or on the flip side, is that accomplished quests do need to be rewarded or at least acknowledged (I know I beat this concept to death on this blog...but it is soooooo important!!!). It is an "all too important" factor of the pursuit and accomplishment of the quest...if there were no reward, why embark on the quest? Am I right? Or, if you embark on several quests (let's say about 4 or 5) and receive absolutely no acknowledgement, be skeptical. 

once again, I must stress this point even more often than none...proper romance is, and has to be, a give-and-take/push-and-pull scenario! If it is unrequited on any side, the romance will very quickly fall apart. No matter on which side of the quest (coin) you fall upon (the one challenging the quest, or the one accepting it) be sure to take into consideration any and all reactions, complaints, or indifference...for these will be the testaments of the true levels of romance!!!


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