Thursday, September 20, 2012

Recommendation: VOODOO coffin pool cue case

Does the speacial ghoul in your life like to shoot pool at the local watering hall or at a pool hall, or in a pool league? A great gift to surprise him or her with is an awesome fabric lined pool cue case in the shape of a coffin!
You can find this case for under $75.00 through I gave one to my new love, who started shooting pool in a league, along with a cool skull etched pool cue, and she and her friends still can't get over how amazing this looks...also scares the batshit of Day-Crawlers on the bus and subway! 

Friday, August 3, 2012

Tip #66: The Inside Joke

No matter at what point in a relationship you find yourself in, from the courting phase to having been married for what might seem like an eternity, it is very important to share at least one or many private inside jokes that are only funny and meaningful to just the both of you. Something that only both of you will relate to and will leave the rest of the world scratching their heads trying to figure it out.

Allow me to give you a quick example: BATH SALTS. Now…to most people…the combination of these two innocuous words of “bath” and “salts” would only describe a frivolous beauty or relaxation product and certainly not trigger a humorous response…granted. However, for the lovely creature I am seeing and myself, not only do these two mundane words strung together makes us giggle like giddy little schoolgirls, but it also denotes a meaning of attraction and passion!

Here is how “Bath Salts” breaks down for us: Remember a few months ago, there was a pretty twisted story out of Miami, Florida in which a homeless man was found buck-naked and chewing off the face of another homeless man who was also in the buff? Well, if you do or don’t remember, the outcome of this very bizarre story was that the aggressor in this incident was completely zoinked out on a bad batch of LSD, but he said to the authorities that he had taken bath salts! In a matter of hours from the news breaking there was a huge online social network buzz calling this the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse. Now, with that nugget of information in mind, one night my precious and I, after some substantial drinking, found ourselves in a blatant public display of affection…and let’s just say it was said to have been...somewhat messy. After a few days, some of her friends mentioned to her that it looked as though we were chewing our faces off as we kissed…and from that moment on the inside joke of “BATH SALTS!” was born! So now, every time we want to discreetly communicate to each other the notion that one of us totally wants to snog the other randy, we simply say “bath salts” and then it’s usually followed up by a “Rawr! Nom Nom Nom!” and sealed with a dainty kiss.

A little complicated? Sure. But that’s what makes it our own! We have another triggered by the words “EGG WHITES!” but that one is way too personal to post on this blog. To create your own personalized inside joke moment you both have to be, first of all, on the same wavelength about many things. Then, when the right moment happens (you’ll just know when this happens…you’ll feel a strong connection in sense of humor) solidify the idea, situation, meaning, etc. with a simple title, gesture, or even a facial expression, as long as it serves as code between the two of you. Lastly, if the inside joke becomes outdated, stale, or no longer relevant…no worries…find or make up a new one! Bonus: Two Goths smiling and laughing to themselves over an inside joke scares the bejeezus  out of Day-Crawlers!!!

Monday, July 9, 2012

He Hit Me - by The Crystals

Was watching Mad Men (yes...I watch Mad Men) when I ran across this song...Listen to the lyrics...WTF?!?!?! What the hellz was wrong with people back in the 1960's ?!?!?! *facepalm*

Friday, June 29, 2012

The Anti-Cheating Wedding Ring

HA! O.K....if you haven't heard by now, via the mainstream media, someone has created a special wedding ring, made of titanium, with the words, "I'm Married" engraved backwards inside the band. The result: If the wearer decides to take off the ring in order to fool a single woman, or man, into a fling, the tell-tale branding will be apparent on the deceitful spouse's ring finger skin. Kinda like on C.S.I. where they could tell if someone was or was not married due to a discoloration on the finger where the ring should be...only crazier.

Available through a novelty gift internet shopping site,, this ring actually retails for $550.00! But what I don't understand is: 1) If you have to buy this ring for your spouse, you should really be spending the money on a marriage counselor or a divorce attorney, or 2) if your spouse just can keep his or her pants on...wouldn't a more permanent tattoo be way more effective??? And 3) believe it or not, there are many single women and men out there that actually get turned on be seducing a married in that regards, this ring can serve as an aphrodisiac!!!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Tip #65: The Break in Rapport

[ra-pawr, -pohr, ruh-]  noun relation; connection, especially harmonious or sympathetic relation

If you analyze any great romance throughout history -- or any sappy romantic/comedy plot Hollywood churns out monthly to disillusion their female audiences into believing what true romance is supposed to be like -- you will soon notice a habitual pattern when it comes to the storyline: Boy meets girl; boy and girl fall in rapport; boy and girl have a break in rapport; boy and girl reconcile; boy and girl fall in love in a grand manner; happy ending.

Did you notice that that rapport /break in rapport part in the middle? That's actually a crucial and very important part of a grand romance. Let me explain...when a couple are first going out with each other, everything is giddy and it should's that "teenager" type feeling you get in your gut. The couple is getting to know each other, mentally, emotionally, and even physically...this is creating rapport to see if they are compatible with one another. This can go on for as little or as long as it takes, building up beyond "falling in rapport" to "falling in love."

But, at one point, along this path, there is a certain, and sometimes sudden, break in the rapport. This can be as minor as a small disagreement over something trivial or a trip (business or vacation) apart, or as major as a temporary break-up due to one or both parties feeling hurt and/or betrayed. Depending on the severity of the individual situations, a break in rapport can sometimes lead to a permanent closure to the relationship...this happens. However, it is within that break that each side examines and evaluates the core values of said relationship. It is worth a reconciliation? Is the absence of the other a growing pain in your heart...or is it a warm and comfortable feeling of relief? Not matter what the situation or outcome is, a minimal amount of thought and effort must be placed here...unless, of course, if the relationship is an abusive one. Never second guess those! Run as far away as possible from those!!!

If the relationship is worth fighting for, and was meant to be, then a grand gesture for reconciliation is in order to re-solidify rapport and hopefully move onto pure and mutual love. If it wasn't meant to be, the two acquaintances will simply continue to drift apart and until one or both build new rapport with someone else. If it weren't for reconnecting with a loved one after a break in rapport, what would those romance films do with with all of those scenes of someone chasing down a departing train from the station with their lost love aboard it? Or the slow motion run-toward-each-other-and-embrace-on-the-beach scenes? Don't believe me? Rent out any romantic drama or comedy movie, TV show, etc., and prove me wrong.

It does sound pretty crappy but some conflict does make for a better's just the way romance works. In the end, I think that the break in rapport phase exists in order for each individual in a relationship to feel just that: a bit of individuality. If not, you could be drifting toward a co-dependant relationship...not a good place to find yourself in! So, basically, the tip here is that at any given moment, you will find yourself in this lose of rapport phase. When you mutually consent to reconnect, it is important to make a grand affair of can be simple or over-the-top...just make it hyper-romantic as to seal it with a kiss.