Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Tip #65: The Break in Rapport

[ra-pawr, -pohr, ruh-]  noun relation; connection, especially harmonious or sympathetic relation

If you analyze any great romance throughout history -- or any sappy romantic/comedy plot Hollywood churns out monthly to disillusion their female audiences into believing what true romance is supposed to be like -- you will soon notice a habitual pattern when it comes to the storyline: Boy meets girl; boy and girl fall in rapport; boy and girl have a break in rapport; boy and girl reconcile; boy and girl fall in love in a grand manner; happy ending.

Did you notice that that rapport /break in rapport part in the middle? That's actually a crucial and very important part of a grand romance. Let me explain...when a couple are first going out with each other, everything is giddy and cute...as it should be...it's that "teenager" type feeling you get in your gut. The couple is getting to know each other, mentally, emotionally, and even physically...this is creating rapport to see if they are compatible with one another. This can go on for as little or as long as it takes, building up beyond "falling in rapport" to "falling in love."

But, at one point, along this path, there is a certain, and sometimes sudden, break in the rapport. This can be as minor as a small disagreement over something trivial or a trip (business or vacation) apart, or as major as a temporary break-up due to one or both parties feeling hurt and/or betrayed. Depending on the severity of the individual situations, a break in rapport can sometimes lead to a permanent closure to the relationship...this happens. However, it is within that break that each side examines and evaluates the core values of said relationship. It is worth a reconciliation? Is the absence of the other a growing pain in your heart...or is it a warm and comfortable feeling of relief? Not matter what the situation or outcome is, a minimal amount of thought and effort must be placed here...unless, of course, if the relationship is an abusive one. Never second guess those! Run as far away as possible from those!!!

If the relationship is worth fighting for, and was meant to be, then a grand gesture for reconciliation is in order to re-solidify rapport and hopefully move onto pure and mutual love. If it wasn't meant to be, the two acquaintances will simply continue to drift apart and until one or both build new rapport with someone else. If it weren't for reconnecting with a loved one after a break in rapport, what would those romance films do with with all of those scenes of someone chasing down a departing train from the station with their lost love aboard it? Or the slow motion run-toward-each-other-and-embrace-on-the-beach scenes? Don't believe me? Rent out any romantic drama or comedy movie, TV show, etc., and prove me wrong.

It does sound pretty crappy but some conflict does make for a better story...it's just the way romance works. In the end, I think that the break in rapport phase exists in order for each individual in a relationship to feel just that: a bit of individuality. If not, you could be drifting toward a co-dependant relationship...not a good place to find yourself in! So, basically, the tip here is that at any given moment, you will find yourself in this lose of rapport phase. When you mutually consent to reconnect, it is important to make a grand affair of it...it can be simple or over-the-top...just make it hyper-romantic as to seal it with a kiss.

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