Friday, December 30, 2011

Dracula - L'amour plus fort que la mort

So this is a new musical playing in Paris, France. It's called Dracula - Love stronger than death. Check out the video...let me know what you think!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

'Nuff said...

Article: 40-Million-Year-Old Sex Act Captured in Amber

Remember the premise of Jurassic Park? Well, consider this the pornographic version in which two prehistoric mites were incased in gooey tree sap while mating thus preserving them in amber for all eternity as such.

To which begs the question: Can crabs give themselves crabs?

For the entire article on Discovery News, click here!!!

Monday, December 26, 2011

Tip #57: Thievery

No...I am not telling you to start shoplifting things to help with your romantic endeavors...well...not exactly...but the idea is there, let me explain...

Just under two years ago (romance is a very, very patient practice) while still pining for a certain fantastic girl who lived out-of-state, I was inspired to hatch an all-too-well calculated and amazing plan for her next visit to New York City, where I reside. If executed properly, and followed to the letter, this plan would have not only been a prime example of Planned Spontaneity, but would also result in a delightful afternoon of adventure with a tinge of danger (all very subtle, of course). I will now explain my plan to you as I've laid it out in detail in hopes that you can customize it to your situation(s) and hopefully gain a memorable moment with your lover, partner, date, spouse, etc., from it:

This ruse all started with a casual conversation in which I learned that the one I pined for has an affinity for fossils (whether this is actually true or not, I may never know). This tidbit of information, something worthy of the Master List, got me to thinking -- and this is how the true creative romantic mind works -- Where in this city do you see fossils? First, at the American Museum of Natural History; next, at nursing homes and (or at my family's old people); and lastly, at this incredibly cool store called Evolution, located in Manhattan's SoHo neighborhood (It's basically as if the Museum of Natural History had a really, really, really amazing gift shop!). gears start grinding: The museum is a touristy type of event (see tip #22)...maybe something to do next time she is in town to distract her from her work, only for a bit of downtime, if she has a few hours to spare. The nursing home / my restaurant thought was just a joke in my mind, but it did indeed spark the idea of a mid to late afternoon lunch after the museum visit. Harping back to tip #22's bonus tip at the end (see how all of these RomBlog tips come together?), about small souvenirs, the Evolution store comes to mind in which I can purchase a small fossil to commemorate the outing. So...that's: Museum --> late lunch --> fossil gift. Then I think to myself, that's all very fine and good, but...BLAH! Too mundane! This needs an extra dimension!

Then it hits me! As I play out the scenario over in my head, my creative imagination (I see things play out like films in my mind's eye, complete with editing and camera angles) concocted a devious storyline that should play out as follows:

After she had any business, meetings, networking, etc. to attend to and finalize, we were to meet and I was to bring her, as a surprise (of course) to the the Museum of Natural History, complete with its dynamic display of dinosaur replicas and fossils!

Now, museums, as we all know, can be either fascinating or utterly boring, depending on the exhibits...and there is never a lack of moronic tourists who haven't a faintest clue about proper museum etiquette to annoy you aplenty! Museums are also a rather stiff and stuffy affair, largely in part due to all the priceless and valuable items strewn about, and not to mention the ever-present security staff (thanks to the annoying tourists I mentioned before -- I have actually seen people try to touch precious paintings and sculptures!) constantly eye-ballin' you. Hence, there tends to be a certain air of suppressed mischievousness that lingers throughout the halls. This is what I want to capitalize on!

After strolling through numerous examples of things that perished eons ago, the second part of the plan was to be set in motion as we make our way toward the exit of the fossil exhibit and head to our late luncheon location (Mini tip: It is always best to have a place to eat and/or drink after an outing, like a movie, theater, art gallery, etc., rather than before. That way you have some time to discuss the experience you've just both shared together). But just as we leave the main room, I make as if I forgot something back inside. I tell her to wait for me right here...I'll be right back. I then make a dash back into the fossil room and wait there for about a minute...not too long...not too short...just out of her line of sight. At this time, from my coat/jacket pocket I take out an actual fossil of a fish, that is dated back to over 1.2 million years ago (bought ahead of time at the Evolution store...and not overly expensive, mind you...this isn't about a price tag), and ready it in my hand...concealing it.

Next, at a very hurried pace, I rush back to her and say, "Here! Put this in your purse (or pocket)!" as I stuff the item in question into her purse/bag/pocket/etc., without her seeing what it is. Then I say, "Quick! Let's go! We're going to be late..." and I guide her in a hasty retreat out of the museum to head toward our nearby lunch establishment (the location is also predetermined). She mustn't stop to ask what that was all about or see what I have planted on her, so it is very important to quickly change the subject if it should arise between the museum and the restaurant/lounge/etc., until we are both out of the "getaway" phase and safely in the "hideaway" to survey our plunder!

All very "Bonnie & Clyde," as it were.

Once at the restaurant, I have her "discover" the fossil that I supposedly swiped from the museum for her and say, with a glint in my eye, "For you! Just a tiny souvenir...I doubt they will miss it." Now, the reaction could range from her calling the police on me to tossing into some bushes while exclaiming that she is allergic to fish fossils; however, knowing how she knows me, I can safely guess that she would realize my little ruse and we would both share a good laugh while the fossil of the fish thus turning into a future reminder of our shared experence.

That was the plan. It all worked out so my overactive imagination. But, alas, it never came to fruition. Every time my dear friend came to the City she had less and less time to spare to distract herself from work, commitments, and such...I never did get to pull off my "heist" and that fish fossil still remains with me for two years this Spring to remind me of an adventurous afternoon that could have been. Ainsi soit la vie...

But that doesn't mean you can't take advantage of the main scope, or even some of the details of this idea! Just be sure that it feels right to you first. Do your research...if it's not a fossil, then something else...something mentioned casually a certain amount of time back, almost forgotten. Remember to consult your Master List. Also, bring the receipt of said item with a Goth you might already look suspicious, so if you are acting all extra suspicious at...let's say...Tiffany's trying to pull this off, please remember that eyes (human and electronic) are constantly on it cool. Don't blame me if you get caught. Plus you never really stole anything. That's the whole fun of it!

I wish that the construction of this plan doesn't go in vain, and I hope that you can work it into your romantic lives somehow, and I would love to hear how it turned out if you ever do! And please do have a gloomy new year!!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Tip #56: Look your best

This simple, yet very important tip was inspired from a quote by Coco Chanel (pictured above):

"One should never go out on the street without saying to themselves that they are going to meet the man or woman of their dreams!"

Translation: Always look and be at your'll never know who will meet!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

You've got to see this...How to Be a Romantic Goth

I was strolling around the Internet (I don't surf) and I happened on the following 'How to' website known as WikiHow. In this website I found an interesting step-by-step guide on how to to be a Romantic Goth! You have to check this article out!

Admittedly, the article is rather superficial and can be used as a form of light comedy, but within the subjects there are some good nuggets of information for those who are first exploring the Goth culture. I'm curious to know what you think!

My favorite is step #1 (LOL!)

Read on...How to Be a Romantic Goth

Monday, December 12, 2011

Tip #55: Death Letters

As many of you may or may not know, this last November, the weekend before Thanksgiving, the global Goth community lost an icon to a tragic and senseless car accident that snuffed out her life as easily as one would blow out an innocent candle. Jeniviva Mia was only 37 years old, although she lived the life equivalent of three 90 year olds! She was a founder of the Gothic belly dancing movement, a beautiful soul, and a dear friend of mine, not to mention to hundreds of others.

Indeed, that her life was cut so short deeply affected all those that were close to her, and especially reinforced our sense of Gothic state-of-mind -- that death is swift, lurks around every corner, and does not discriminate, thus we are in constant mourning to appreciate the life we have! Not only did dear Jeniviva's death bring a lot of people together in sorrow (the remote funeral home was overwhelmed by over 500 mourners over a two day period soaked by an appropriately dreary and relentless rainstorm) to pay their last respects to this wonderful siren and shining spirit, but it also inspired and cultivated an idea in my brain that, I believe, as Goths we should incorporate into our lives...or should I say...our deaths.

Allow me a moment to state right here that this tip is not particularly romantic as it is downright Gothic...and maybe to some it might seem extremely morbid. So be it. I find this tip to be at the core of being Goth...

The idea, in principle, is a cross between a Will and a suicide note. It is a Death Letter. Irregardless of any life factors (age, illness, lifestyle, income, etc.) you are to write individual letters (not an email or a tweet -- physical pen on paper) to those who are most important or meaningful in your life -- past and present lovers, family, friends, and maybe even enemies! In these letters, to be read by the intended recipients after the inevitable event of your death, you are free to divulge, detail, and describe your honest feelings and opinions about said person and, more importantly, the relationship between the both of you.

First, immediately, write a list of to whom you would be writing these death letters for. It should pretty much look like a Halloween or Xmas gift shopping list. Then, organize this list by level of importance the person is in your life. Soon after, when your inspiration or allotted time allows, sit down and write out your letters.

Start your letter as thus:
Dear "________________"
If you are reading this it means that I've passed on. The reason of this letter is to share some my final thoughts with you since I am no longer able to do so in person...(and go on with it from there...)

As you write these letters, keep in mind that the reader will see this after you no longer are a memory, and these words are your only last thoughts. Liberate your pent up thoughts and revelations. Be extremely honest! Will you divulge a secret love for a close friend? Will you tell a family member that they suffer from a body odor problem? Will you tell an ex how horribly you were treated by him/her? Will you tell your mother that you did indeed love her although you both fought like cats & dogs for years? Or, will you finally confess to that horrible crime you got away with for so many years? Let the ink from the pen flow! It can be one paragraph, or it can be twenty pages long!

Next, stuff the letters in individual envelopes with simply the recipient's name on it. On your list of names you can add the mailing addresses of the recipients to help the trusted messenger deliver them after your sad departing. Also on your list, note the date when you wrote the letter. It is important here to revisit these letters at least once a year or so since feelings may change over time as you further into life...and it is also quite possible that those on your list arrive at death's door before you do. If so, you can ceremonially burn their letter outdoors (without causing a forest-fire) to release the contents into the Ether.

Now, after these letters are amassed, you should squirrel them away in a box, drawer, safety deposit box, etc., and enter the details to the whereabouts of these letters in your Will or entrust it to the "messenger" mentioned above. In my mind, I picture it quite darkly romantic that these letters should be doled to out the recipients at the author's have them read right then in there...if, you aren't too cruel with your words, that is!

I hope that you adopt this tip into your lives, even as morbid as it might seem. You might just make someone close to you learn something about themselves and in turn can enrich their own lives! I'd say that I would be honored to receive such a letter from anyone of you, but that might not come out right...

Lastly, I want to end this tip with a quote my dearly departed friend Jeniviva wrote on her Facebook wall only about a week before her own passing:
"Cry not for those who died, cry for those left behind."

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Recommendation: "La Seduction"

Currently I am reading a fascinating book entitled "La Seduction" by Paris bureau chief of The New York Times, Elaine Sciolino. In it the author delves into the art of seduction of the French, and especially that of Parisians, and how seduction plays a very important role in their day to day lives. The book is, above all, a captivating social study that has been extremely well can feel that Sciolino's journalistic background is in full momentum here.

Being French myself (but I mainly grew up in NYC), I found this book to extraordinarily reveal a lot about me! I was amazed to find that many of my RomBlog tips are touched upon and further explained in this book. It's like the author was picking my brain when it comes to the proper rituals of romance and seduction!!!

Soon I realized that since Goths enjoy romance as it once was: grand, lavish, and even heart-breaking at times, the French do as well -- as back throughout the ages. The French and Goths do hold this in's an understanding and appreciation of Old World mentality. However, if you decide to read the book, you will find that in today's world even the French are starting to fall to the "instant gratification" and fast-paced mundane society that we are accustomed to here in the States.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone who is serious about true romance and how to incorporate it into your being! I simply cannot put it down! It is as if my entire raison d'etre is detailed throughout these pages. It all makes so much more sense to me now! *in a thick French accent* "Aye am a troo Frenchman, throo and throo! Mais oui!"

If you do read this book, I would love to hear what you think of it or any feedback.

See you in the Dark!
Sir William Welles

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Poem: The Exit Clause

It is with great regret
that I must inform you,
I quit,
I give up,
I resign,
from the career
of my life.

My desk has been cleaned out,
a wooden box holds my affairs;
trinkets of my history,
to be buried or burned…
whichever is more fitting.
Never to be remembered,
For my poor performance.

My supervisors,
my subordinates,
my peers, all agree,
I can be well replaced,
by the next in line.
One call to Human Resources,
I’m sure will yield plenty!

This corporate ladder
Has no more rungs for me.
Gone are the days
of upward mobility.
All that is left
is a spiraling decline…
my moral bankruptcy.

No need of severance pay…
I’ve no one to support,
I’ve nothing to maintain.
As you very well see,
there is no real reason
for me to hang on,
persist, or remain.

I did not meet my quota;
did not give a stellar presentation;
nor gain any appreciation.
Not a team player.
Not a go-getter.
And certainly not living up to
my full potential.

As I see myself out,
I’ll be sure to turn off the lights,
and to close the door behind me.
But most of all, don’t you worry
about the state of the company…
I am quite confident,
it will strive without me.

~Sir William Welles (12/6/11)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Recommendation: Gift Shrouds!

As you well know, on this blog I prattle on and on about gift giving...but equally as important is the presentation of said gifts! Thanks to a friend via Facebook, I was directed to some very amazing and ultra Goth gift-wrapping papers called Gift Shrouds!

The 10 different designs range from Victorian, to whimsical, to a classic black matte finished paper! But don't take my word for it...go see the website now, and start salivating!!!

(My favorite is the purple paper with the black bats...just sayin')