Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Tip #60: Mystique

This is a biggie! Maybe not in blog length or word-count, but rather in concept. A lot of all of the other tips to date, and even future ones, come into play in this particular tip.

Mystique...what is it? Well, according to the dictionary, it is plainly put as follows:

Mystique [mi-steek] -- Noun

1. a framework of doctrines, ideas, beliefs, or the like, constructed around a person or object, endowing the person or object with enhanced value or profound meaning: the mystique of Poe.
2. an aura of mystery or mystical power surrounding a particular occupation or pursuit: the mystique of nuclear science.

So, how does this apply to us romantic Goths? Simply put, the art of proper Gothic romance cannot exist or happen without a certain level of mystique! The two really do go hand in hand.

But, Sir William, you are now asking yourself, how do I, a simple and humble Goth individual, create mystique? Well...that is what we are here to discover and explore! First, as Goths we all automatically exude a certain dark air of mystery and intrigue by our manner of dress and demeanor alone...that is our basis for mystique...thus getting us already half way there, and we shall build from that.

The next thing to master is, what we French call, "Le Regard," (you don't pronounce the 'd') or "the gaze." We Goths know, all too well what this is...it is that feline-esque trick we do with our eyes that invokes a touch of evil, intrigue, danger, and sensuality all wrapped up in a single gaze. It is what magicians do to captivate and mesmerize their audiences. Le regard is the first and main ingredient for seduction that is rooted in primal animal instinct -- staring into an other's eyes to try to determine if they are friend or foe. If done without rapidly breaking out in a goofy smile, or slipping into the "crazy eyes" look, you will give off an air of mystery. But, just as important as giving someone le regard, is to also take it away! This confuses the other on a subliminal level, causing further intrigue. Soon after, when le regard is reinstated, it will be twice as potent, triggering a sense of "the hunt." The key thing to remember here is: too little of a gaze and you will seem weak and/or timid; too much and you will look like a serial killer out looking for his or her next slaughter. (I will have a full and in-depth tip about "le regard" at a later date.)

O.k., moving on...the next, and very important ingredient is a little something I can't seem to shut-up about throughout this entire blog: Planned Spontaneity! If you do not know what this is, please read Tip #8 before reading on...and shame on you for not having done so yet!
...go on, I'll wait...

All of you must view Planned Spontaneity as your wonderfully dirty little secret weapon that you rely on at any given moment and/or opportunity. It is a very powerful tool to have, yet you must, at all cost, make it seem completely effortless! In the past I have even applied this tactic so smoothly and quietly for someone that they felt as if all of the stars in the Universe aligned perfectly to make her feel as if the luckiest woman in the world...that everything was somehow going her way. The beauty of this is that I never took any credit for it, and to this day she still will never realize I was in the background pulling certain strings in her favor. Does it sound a bit manipulative? Maybe...but if the outcome is some one's bliss, is that so wrong? 

If you can expertly execute this key ingredient of creating mystique, you will soon find out that it will almost give you a god-like quality...as if you are manipulating the elements in favor of your relationship and love interest. Allow me to give you a quick and small example to demonstrate (if you do not live in New York City, as I do, this might be a bit tough to do...but you'll get the idea):

  • Step 1: refer to your Master List (or photographic memory) to determine your lover's favorite color, second to black, of course.
  • Step 2: Find out when those colors will be displayed on the top of the Empire State Building when in honor of a certain event or holiday...impossible, you say? Nay, I reply! This information can be found at the following website: http://www.esbnyc.com/current_events_tower_lights.asp, although it only gives a 2 month notice ahead of time.
  • Step 3: Plan a nighttime event (before midnight) that will give you a good view of the Empire State Building.
  • Step 4: Point out to your lover that you casually rigged the light to her/his favorite color on purpose just before meeting them. Accent it with a bouquet of the same colored flowers or trinket gift!  
Now, of course, your companion won't believe you at all and just chalk it up to pure coincidence, however, after some time, when all of these small, medium, and large planned coincidences pile up, the wonderful sense of mystique will begin to grow and maintain itself as long as you keep up with it.

Lastly, the last part to creating mystique is to reverse Planned Spontaneity and turn actual coincidences into those that seem to have supernaturally happened in order to symbolize the state of your romantic love life, or to help it forward. This concept is a little hard to grasp at first, but if you just train yourself to be alert enough to pick up on subtle cues and incidences that happen in everyday life and somehow create a connection to your love life, you will soon master this skill. Some examples: If you recently had a minor argument and you discover that a photograph of the both of you has become suddenly askew on the wall; a favorite band just happens to be playing a concert on their birthday or your anniversary; a passage or entire paragraph in the book you are currently reading perfectly describes your relationship or your characters; a bat flies into the house; etc. Omens, much like explained in the book, The Alchemist, can come to mean just about anything to the beholder. Make them work for you by pointing them out to your lover and have them realize the connection too! 

The true art here is to make all of these ingredients fit into your circumstance, and thus completely creating the mystique that the entire laws of the Universe somehow cosmically revolves around your union. So...let's recap: Goth look and demeanor...check! Le regard...check! Planned Spontaneity...check! Coincidences, incidents, and omens...check! Those items are your clay, it is now up to you to mould this clay constantly to create an aura of mysticism that will save your relationship from falling into the inevitable trappings of the mundane, teetering that fine line between reality and fantasy...it's not that hard...it is why we are romantics...it is why we are Goth!

One final Goth thought about mystique...


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