Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Day-Crawlers in the Mist -- Part IX.II

Welcome back, mates!

The elevator reached its final destination and with an electronic "boop" sound effect, the slab-like doors doors parted to reveal the long hallway that was the main artery of the 23rd floor. The two Cougars, the determined Fang and the wobbly Paw-Paw, stepped out onto the hallway with me in tow, clutching the three champagne glasses with one hand and my notebook with the other. The corridor seemed almost infinite as we walked what felt like the better part of an hour to reach their room...which happened to be the numerical palindrome of #2332. A key-card was produced and fitted into the slit of the door's lock. A thunderous "CLACK" sound startled me enough to make the champagne glasses in my hand to go "clink!"

As the room's front door swung open, my mind made an instinctual decision for me and my sheer survival. Basically, my mind told me this: "Sir William, (yes, my mind calls me Sir too) if you are to see this "party" through to the end and emerge relatively unscathed, you must get into a proper mindset and character, and take back some control over this situation!" So with that, my personality completely changed into a bizarre mix between Russel Brand, Captain Jack Sparrow, and a hint of David Spade's character, Dennis Finch, from the television sitcom Just Shoot Me. Those of you that know me well enough has seen this in me.

As we entered the room, I snatched the champagne bottle from Fang's hand and suggested rather confidently, "Be a luv and fetch us some ice from down the hall while I open and pour us all some bubbly." she complies with a smile and pranced back out into the endless hallway with an empty ice bucket in hand, leaving me alone with Paw-Paw...who was sitting on the corner of the bed, grinning foolishly. I needed to have her do an activity as well, I thought to myself. "Won't you be a dear and find us some music to soften the mood a little." With a slight squeal of excitement, Paw-Paw set out on the task I had given her while I focused on mine...opening a champagne bottle, pouring out three glasses, and carefully plot out my options and/or strategy.

Soon enough, Fang returns with a bucket full of ice at the same time Paw-Paw finds a channel on the telly that was playing non-stop mainstream pop music. I grab the remote control from her and switched it to a light jazz channel while stating that I wanted to listen to something way more cliché. With that found, I then handed out the glasses of champagne and put the bottle on ice. We toasted to something silly and filled with sexual double entendre and we then slurped down the bubbly. I reloaded the glasses. Paw-Paw is fading fast, I can tell. Fang was the more astute one, thus posing more of a threat. We all continue to drink and talk about nonsense for the next twenty minutes or so as I sat on a lounge chair provided in the room while both Cougars inch their way ever so closer to me. It was during this time that I noticed Fang constantly checking her watch...but I thought nothing of it.

Suddenly, in a blink of an eye, Paw-Paw is out like a light. One down, I think to myself. The next words from Fang's mouth were: "Oh good! I thought she'd never pass out...I want you all to myself!" And with that she boldly sat down on my lap...and we started the seductive practice and ritual of kissing. At first it was gentle, then, like any self-respecting Cougar, she started getting aggressive. Luckily, I too possess long and sharp claws and is a masterful practitioner of the Amychesis arts, so I was able to handle my own with her feral feline attacks.  

The next thing I know she is pulling me onto one of the two beds that was not occupied by Paw-Paw's limp and passed out body. Clothes are slowly starting to shed. A bite here, a scratch there...nothing too out of the ordinary. Then...


The hotel room's door let forth another thunderclap that made my central nervous system simply freeze in terror. The door wildly swings open and standing there was a burly Day-Crawler Alpha male bellowing: "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY WIFE?!?!?!"

I was stunned...paralyzed with shock. From under me Fang cried out, "STEVE!!! HELP!!! HE'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!!!"

In complete and utter shock, my mouth started to formulate the words: "WHAT THE FFF...." when this massive bloke grabbed me like a piece of tissue paper and effectively discarded me off of his wife (who, by the way, was never wearing a wedding band on her Aphrodite finger) and threw me out into the hallway with ease!

I bounced off the opposing wall and landed on the floor with a resounding "THUD!"  My brain and vision whirled as I watched this Steve-person loom over me and exclaim: "You better get the fuck outta here before I kill you, you fucking freak!"

Holding my hands in front of me as a sign of submission, I complied by saying, "O.k., man...O.k....I'm going! Relax!"

Fang, suddenly emerging from behind her hulk of a husband promptly threw my notebook angrily at my head and further insults me by calling me a perverted freak.

By this time I was trying to figure out if this wasn't a really bad nightmare I'm having or was this, in fact, reality. But after this entire ordeal, what happened next was truly the astonishing part!!!

As I was picking myself up from the floor and trying to muster up enough energy to sprint down the hallway toward the elevators, I see Fang tightly hug her white back gorilla of a husband and overheard her say, "You saved me again! You're my hero...I'm so hot for you right now...take me!!!"  To which he returned, "Mmmm...is Brenda still awake? I'll take the both of..." The hotel door then slammed shut behind them, leaving only giggling sounds that permeated from the inside. Not soon enough I was only halfway down the hallway and trying to get the hell out of there without ever looking back!!!

After this incident I did a bit of research in odd sexual behaviour of the Day-Crawlers to see if there was an explanation to this most disturbing experience, and I soon discovered something very unsettling, yet fascinating at the same time! It seems that there exists a very obscure and little known fetish/role play situation in which a couple will plan to have the female lure some unsuspecting male for some sort of sexual activity only to be "saved" by the Alpha male of the couple, just in time when things are getting heated with the duped male. This brings the hero or saviour fantasy into reality and eventually into a full fledged fetish. This is absurdity at its finest!!!

From now on I'm sticking to only observing these wild and unpredictable Day-Crawlers from afar...interactions are waaaaay to dangerous!!!

*crawls into a corner and licks wounds*

1 comment:

  1. This illustrates an important lesson in anthropological studies. There's a fine line between being a participant observer and going native.