Saturday, July 23, 2011

Tip #39: Surprise!!!

Surprises are an integral part to any romance, Gothic or not. Whether you are offering/giving a gift, making a romantic gesture, or even sharing a meal, be sure to incorporate the element of surprise into any and/or all of it. It will make every thing seem more spontaneous, however, it was all carefully planned (see Tip#8)

When it comes to surprises and relationships, people have a tendency to fall into two types: The detail oriented individual and the overview oriented individual. Allow me to explain the dynamics of this:

The detail oriented person will be the one who plots and plans out every iota of a surprise or of a romantic gesture to the microscopic level, involving as many layers and players as possible in order to execute a grandiose adventure at every turn...personally, I am this type, and any serious romantic should be as such! However...

On the flip side, there is the overview oriented person who tends to look at the whole or big picture when it comes to romance. This is the type that will (although lovingly) map out an entire activity, event, gesture, surprise, etc., will do so in a very pragmatic manner, basically "plopping" it onto their lover's lap...a little bland if you ask me.

With that mentioned, couples can fall into three generalized categories:

  • DETAIL//DETAIL: While ideal for proper Goth romance in theory, each partner is constantly scheming and plotting their next romantic move which will lead to some complications since each will notice and eventually start to question every mysterious phone call, lapse in time, and the little white lies when sneaking sure to have a solid poker-face!
  • DETAIL//OVERVIEW: This set-up also works very well in theory; however, if it is too one-sided the detail oriented partner might start to feel that he or she is doing all the romantic work in the relationship which will naturally lead to resentment if not acknowledged (see Tip #26) me, I been there many, many times!
  • OVERVIEW//OVERVIEW: If you are in this type of relationship either split up or kill yourselves...or at least stop reading my RomBlog because you are obviously Day-Crawlers with 2.5 kids and a minivan! In all seriousness, this might work for some, but let's be won't be much fun.
Of course there are various degrees to this...try to fluctuate between the both extreme if possible to have a proper rapport with your loved one.

Want specific tips on how to surprise your lover? Be sure to read upcoming Romancing the Goth tips!!!

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