Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Tip #2: Flowers

Flowers. I personally find the giving of flowers a total waste of time, energy, and money! Why buy something that is guaranteed to die within two days? My Gothy solution: give murdered and mummified roses to your lover!

Here’s how to do it: Buy a dozen red (passionate love color) medium to long-stemmed roses…you don’t have to spend a fortune, just be sure that the buds are well formed and tight. Take a long length of string and tie it to the end of each rose stem. Then, hang then upside-down in an arid place for about a week or so until they are fully dead and dry. After you’ve so cruelly killed these roses, take each one down very carefully (they are very brittle) and then generously spray them from tip to tip with hairspray. Yup, hairspray! This will preserve them for quite some time to come. Again, be careful when transporting said very fragile mummified roses.


  1. I think you're missing the point of giving flowers.
    Speaking as a girl, and i think i can, i would be irritated at being presented with a fistful of crunchy, faded roses that reek of Aqua-net. "Oh, how.. nice, you... brought me potpourri! thank you..?" They are lifeless and unyielding. I hardly want to crush a bouquet of dried thorns to my chest in delight, or bury my nose in a crusty bloom.

    Yeah, okay, they die. But between you giving them to me and them fading away, they smell lovely. They are fresh, and soft, and delicate; traits comely on ladies. They make me feel special because these flowers were selected for me (recently) by someone who likes to bring me nice things. It's an evanescent favor, but a gesture at the daily choice of being with someone important to you.

    Everything dies, celebrate the living part. the part you get to do with others. especially with roses.

  2. Well, of course I'm not saying to throw a bunch of dry and crunchy flowers at have to present them in a creative a mini coffin maybe. Moreover, fresh flowers may be all fine and dandy for most...but this blog is called "Romancing the Goth" for a reason...I'm trying to point out alternative romance rituals for an alternate, "offstream" culture(MM). =)