Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Day-Crawlers in the Mist -- Part VIII

After spending so many months immersed in Gator country I was quite relieved to re-enter the more subdued Day-Crawlers mating field research...but much to my horror I noticed something quite disturbing, Day-Crawler females are employing Gator tactics on males at the water-hole! *GASP!* Let me explain...

I enter a typical trendy Day-Crawler watering-hole (again, in a hotel) on what should be a very slow Monday night. After I claim my habitual perch at the deep corner, I suddenly take notice that that this particular watering-hole is abundantly filled with Gators...so much so that over half of them sit quietly to themselves, being as still as they could be as not not to be seen by any scarce prey to patiently await an ambush attack...and the male Day-Crawler prey is indeed quite scarce this night...a food shortage, if you will.

As I stand in my corner, avoiding the hungry eyes of the Gators that would usually ignore me for easier and wounded prey, a certain realization grazes over my na├»ve mind: Most of these females are not Gators, but ordinary Day-Crawlers implementing Gator-like tactics in order to seduce a male! SHOCKING!!!

But what is it all for? Clearly not monetary compensation! Maybe for free thirst quenchers? Ego inflation? A tasty of naughty adventure? Or the pursuit of feeling wanted and desired? In any case, the tactics are the same! Clothing and physical details to accentuate the false hyper-feminine allure; the over-friendliness and unabashed flirtatious nature; and the calculating hidden agenda that resides just under the fist layer of their eyes as they chance to gaze at other males strewn about the watering-hole...including myself!

One such of these "Gator-ettes" is a Cougar who has migrated all the way from Hungary and who is, interestingly enough, paired with an African-American Cougar. Both are provocatively dressed and they are really "working" the room, thus at first glance, giving off the impression that they are indeed a highly skilled pair of Gators. 

After observing them for over the better part of an hour, I soon find them to not actually be Gators at all...but impostor Gators! How did I figure this out? Well...let me tell you: First, both women sauntered into the watering-hole both dressed in plain black cocktail dresses (at least it was black), clutching M.A.C makeup bags and seemingly have spent several hours being made-up and pampered by an expert team of beauticians at a M.A.C store (I'm not talking about computers here, just so you know). These two cougars (and fake Gators) are feeling what is called "fierce" about themselves and want to test their sexual prowess on unsuspecting males (especially on the younger bucks) within this particular watering-hole. Next, these two are over-indulgent. They drink too much, they laugh too loudly, and flip their hair in a seductive manner a bit too energetically.

[By this time, most of the true Gators have moved off from this watering-hole in search of greener pastures or deeper waters due to the intensified competition.]

Thirdly, the two Cougar specimens I am observing seem to have........wait...this is not good. Suddenly they've abandoned their young male playthings and......//../...|''|...\\...suddenly are now focusing../|...their gaze on ME!!!..........H*lp....../'/*...Help me...||....they are approaching.../*'/.......................................................................

Error: Transmission was lost at precisely 1:36:27am EST on 6.13.11.
Sir William Welles' whereabouts are considered UNKNOWN.
A rescue and recovery crew has been deployed.

1 comment:

  1. While I find your observations of these fascinating creatures both illuminating and entertaining, I couldn't help but notice that there's no mention of the greedy hunters who callously hack off the heads and hands of Day-crawlers in order to make grisly trophies and ashtrays out of them. I for one would be interested to find out where I can acquire one of these rare items.