Tip #34: Talk to the Dead

Well...it's not really what it seems. This tip is something I came up with when advising my dear friend about approaching a certain fellow she's been pining over, who is also undergoing treatment for cancer -- she wants to ask him out on a dinner date but can't seem to muster up the courage to do so, she's simply too smitten...which is odd to me simply because she is one of the most courageous and outgoing persons I have ever known! Anyhow, as we were talking she told me that she hasn't run into her love-interest in quite some time (they usually bump into each other at a coffee place in her neighborhood) and that he was probably going through a treatment session, which strips him of energy and the ability to be social (sad since he is only 30 years old-ish) Suddenly, my Gothic (and pessimist) brain blurted out: "What if he's dead, and you don't know it yet?" Kinda harsh, I know...I even surprised myself! In an instant a wave of sadness washed over her face as she considered the possibility.

I let her contemplate the notion for a moment and then stated: "But if you had just one last chance to tell him something before you never see him again...just one chance...what would you tell him?" Her answer is more or less immaterial here, but the important part is that he is not dead at this very moment and the chance is there...so why not use it???

The basic philosophy behind being Goth is that (amongst other factors, of course) we realize that death happens everyday and is all around us...we embrace it, and in turn we embrace the life we have and the lives of those around us of whom one day we may mourn. People in the mainstream culture tend to be in denial when it comes to death or how quickly it can strike...it's something that only happens on the news or in movies for them.

So, the tip here is thus, if you have something that needs to be said to a loved one and/or someone you are longing for, take the time and truly imagine that they have died (even if you have to spend time apart or incommunicado) or in the process of dying (technically, we all are in the process of dying) and then seize the chance that you have to get off your chest what you've been yearning to say...it might be the last chance you ever have! (I think with this tip, I have to start following my own advice...)